What the TV tells me

• Rebecca Otto, as your elected state auditor will make sure "the numbers add up". Taryll Clark's favorite letter is "f". Clark is still waiting, stop watch in hand, for Bachman to cut her pay. Bachman thinks old people on Social Security are addicts, at least that's what the TV tells me. Erik Paulson has common-sense solutions and thinks that the headlines are "scary".

• On Days of our Lives, Ariana (who I read on a spoiler blog is soon to be killed off of the show), pretended to care about why Sami shot EJ, who kidnapped her daughter as retaliation for not telling him his daughter was their daughter, while taping her confession to share with EJ, whom she has a crush on. Meanwhile, Victor finds out that Vivian was locked in the crypt by Brady, who found out that she was planning to put Maggie in the crypt because the crypt was supposed to contain his mother's remains, that are now in a pet cemetary, but instead there was a video camera and snake inside.

• The dish ran away with the spoon. Does anyone care about the fork's feelings? Where is the spork through all of this?